Snowboard Magazine Women's Annual

I finally got my hands on a copy of Snowboard Magazine's Women's Annual after reading some blogs online about the magazine that piqued my interest.


Annie Boulanger on the cover, in Whistler

There's some pretty good stuff in this magazine, actually. I liked the pages about the women riders, both articles and interviews. There are some stuff in there that should be questioned though.

First of all, there's this one that bothered me.

I don't even want to talk about this article because I'm afraid I'll get carried away. There is a disclaimer in the pink words by the writer that basically says, "Don't take me seriously, I'm just gonna get retarded here." Okay, here's what it really says, word for word, if you can't read the picture (it's not the greatest quality, sorry).

"To any of you ladies out there who are serious about buying a snowboard, this will not help. See, I haven't bought a snowboard in over 10 years, I am not a girl, and I tend to lie. As the senior editor of this magazine, I should have a handle on what to look for and what not to when making such an important decision, but I don't. Fortunately, I have the ultimate gear queer, our product and photo editor, sitting to my left--he handles that sort of thing. Only because he is too busy testing stuff and assembling useful information did I reluctantly volunteer to put together the ultimate guide to buying a snowboard. So here goes... take note."

Starting off this article is:

Intuition
Buy the very first thing you see--that is, if it has pretty colors. If not, buy the second one, immediately. I once saw a board at Thrifty's Drug Depot that looked relatively legit, plus it was only 14 bucks. I'd think you'd be pretty dialed with something like that. All that matters here is that the design on the topsheet matches your outerwear colorway. Technically, your snowboard purchasing experience should end here, but if you insist on getting scientific, read on...

I rolled my eyes and read the next thing which is about "Size" and although it had a quote from that awesome movie Mallrats in it, I just couldn't read this visual diarrhea anymore. This is DUMB. Seriously. I know it's supposed to be a joke, but it's not even funny. Even my boyfriend said it was retarded and closed the magazine after reading only 3 things that this guy listed as factors in buying a snowboard. It just seems like a waste, this article could have been written to actually be useful and help other girls who want to do research before buying a new snowboard. Or even better, this article could instead explain the different technology snowboards have, like rocker, BTX, 1985, gullwing, flat kick, good old camber, etc etc. Now that would be an article I would actually read.

Secondly, there's a pathetic excuse for a "Gear Guide" tucked in this magazine. Heh, actually, I was reading this magazine on the way home with my boyfriend driving, and when I saw one of their "This season's must-have snowboards!" I shouted really loud, "NO!!!!!!" and scared him, making him swerve. Now, some of the boards they listed are good, but they only listed 5. The one I didn't approve of was Rome Detail... sure, it's a good board, but it's nothing special. I would honestly only use it if all I did was urban rails, like just drop in, hit the rail, land. That's it. The magazine doesn't mention this, and it doesn't recommend what the other boards would be good for.

It's the same for the rest of the guide, outerwear, goggles, boots... etc. Look at what they said about the Nike Zoom Force 1:

In its second year, Nike is doing it stylie once again, adding a little more flair and fun. I don't know how Nike does it, but whoever designs their boots has a magical talent in attracting the eye and credit card.

The rest of the boots are pretty much written about like that... Okay... are they waterproof? Are they soft, stiff? Do they run small, true to size, or big? Are they offered with BOA? Wide fit, narrow fit? Raaaaah.

Finally, I saved the best for last. They have models wearing base layers, and I was confused for a second looking at them... they're modeling like they're in a men's magazine.



It doesn't bother me, but I find it really ironic because it's a magazine geared for women. Tell me you open up a men's snowboard magazine and see men modeling like this:



Hmmm? I didn't think so. Either they hired whores to model for the magazine, or like Kelly Vance over at Shred Betties said,

"I’m guessing the dudes were also behind some of the photography. You know on America’s Next Top Model, where Tyra demonstrates the difference between a men’s magazine pose and a women’s magazine pose? Well, check out the models in the Base Layers section. It’s got some classic examples of the men’s magazine pose - boobs sticking out and pouty lips and all. I never knew a one-piece long john could be that sexy. Why didn’t they find a couple of pro riders for these shoots instead? If you’re really trying to help female riders, why use random model chicks? They might not be quite as big in the boobal area, but there are some pro girls that are still nice to look at."

BAM! She hits it right on! Totally agree with all of that.

Here's a random picture from the magazine to end this post with, I like it a lot.

Annie Boulanger

Oh yeah, it's snowing at my house again! Yeah winter's coming!